Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
