Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
a search helicopter?!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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