Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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