do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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