i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
