Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
