Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i've created a new STD.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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