addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
