im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
