Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
