Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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