"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
