I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
