Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
nutella sex= disaster
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
