i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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