ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
