so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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