Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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