after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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