where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
