Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
