I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
