Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
