Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
