out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
