i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
