Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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