you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
