I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
