what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
