he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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