I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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