i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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