could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
