I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
