its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
