the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
