This girl is more easily done than said...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
