weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
