She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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