Kareoke will never be a sober sport
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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