Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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