it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
