We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
