I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
