You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
