How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
