He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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