Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
