I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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